It seems my basic mathematical skills have failed me when I needed them most. :P
Yes, I called Albert Mary's sister. Is that some egregious offense that I am unaware of? :P
Yes, I recognize that I used the Olde Speech incorrectly. However, unlike the blatant math error, that was (sorta) intentional. I made some errors, and then when I noticed them I just decided to leave them because 1) I was lazy and 2) the valadidity of this story is intended to be very doubtful, making it ironic that it was stamped by The Totally True Tale Society, so such missues add to that effect. :P
He wasn't intended to be SOS, but rather was intended to be an allusion to him. :P Basically, the open-ended description means that he could be SOS, but he isn't (unless you want him to be).