I have read the 3 chapters. Lots of things going on. We're entering the final stage, rather abruptly perhaps, but not unnaturally.
I have to say, while other chapters walked the line more appropriately, Chapter 18 seemed to lean closer to the bad side of confusion. There was a lot that wasn't very clear to understand or referenced we didn't know about creating this negative feeling of confusion that was not the best. I suppose this started at the part where Kate "remembered"? I wasn't sure what exactly was going on there. First, you mention something about Cyclone's method of communication and then Kate starts seeing things and it's not clear if it's reality or a memory or communicated by Cyclone or what exactly it is she is remembering at all. Then, it's also not clear where the remembering (I assume) starts and stops. Is Kate attacking Cyclone in the present or in the past? It's explained a bit later, but the harm's done already to an extent I would say.
It occurs to me now after further inspection that the following passage:
And then the scene rotated, as Kate turned away from the board to face the rest of the room: Square, gray, windowless, with the only other furnishings being a table and two chairs, hers and Cycloneâs. He stood behind it, hands leaning on the suit jacketed backrest, his face as parched as his button down shirt.
âThatâs all of us,â Kate heard her voice say. âSo you can help us now?â She felt it, too, the emotions, relief and hope. At having testified? To Cyclone? There were no other feelings. No doubt, no sickness in her stomach. That didnât come yet. The present was starting to infiltrate, but she didnât want to leave the memory. She focused on Cyclone, his face, so grown up, handsome, but troubled. He wasnât staring her gaze back. Thatâs when the sickness began.
âIf you told me all this three years ago,â the memory of Cyclone said, âI would follow your lead unconditionally. But I canât this time. Iâm sorry.â
is in fact a continuation of the same memory with the bulletin board, and that this is the interrogation that was mentioned later. However, upon the first read I very much had trouble understanding what was going on here. A few things worked together (Cyclone and Kate being alone like in the present, misinterpreting Kate's "That's all of us" as recognition from remembering, not being able to imagine that the kind of thing you were implying was going on was going on) to make me think this was the present and then as a result, I understood what was being said even less.
The next part with the lashing out I figured out eventually was a memory, but I wasn't able to connect with the previous stuff and the events of Three Years, so while feeling a bit out of context it also led me to believe that happened after SOTS, which however I now understand is not the case, but just noting things, even though that did not contribute to confusion too much.
After that the confusion mostly subsides though I don't understand what that reference to Vanda is (which could be my forgetting something though?). However, I find that it is very much a shame that two such significant moments as Cyclone's reveal as a Rogue and his kiss with Kate would be overshadowed by this feeling of confusion and losing their impact somewhat.
But at the same time I have to also admit, I don't know how much impact they had in the first place. At least, the Rogue part. What I mean is Cyclone has been nowhere to be found since SOTS, we've only had Intrepid x Kate development since when it comes to the shipping department and I may be forgetting parts of SOTS, but I don't currently really remember any big development between them, especially not enough to justify so bold a move forward in this one (and if indeed I'm not forgetting something important from SOTS, despite what's been said about the original desired ship being them, I wouldn't say the Stromling Trilogy or the Sequel one at that ever developed them that way properly), so it feels a bit out of nowhere for me. Same can be said for Cyclone's being a Rogue and there I can definitely say it's not a memory issue. I think it might fall flat a bit here, because it lacks buildup. Don't know if it necessarily had to have been hinted in some way or given justification (I definitely don't understand at all how he ended up a Rogue), but I do believe that his absence from the story for so long and his showing up only to be revealed to have joined the Rogues immediately lacks the narrative impact such a betrayal should normally have. I wouldn't say I wasn't shocked by it at all, but the way the story seems to basically "By the way, Cyclone's a Rogue now" reduces my reaction from a "WHAT THE HECK?!" to a "Damn... Anyway" also. I still wanna know why this happened and feel a bit betrayed myself, but the fact that the story doesn't match that feeling of betrayal is perhaps what seems so off to me.
Other than that, RIP Edwin, but wouldn't that open an entrance for the Maelstrom Dimension (not that they haven't already been entering)?
Cyclone nodded again, grimly this time. âAlright, Fleet Captain. Smooth sailing.â
âAnd you.â
A little known fact about this line is that Edwin is not actually talking about the Rogue spaceship, but is in fact referring to Kate and Cyclone's relatonship, colloquially known as a ship and its sailing.
And I guess that chapter ended with a bang. I wonder if it has anything to do with the bang that Chapter 20 ended with. And I wouldn't say I didn't enjoy the chapter at all. The Kate-Cyclone moments were still nice and I suppose the fact that Cyclone is now betraying the Rogues means we at least can think a bit more highly of him regardless of previous bad decisions. There was also a level of suspense to the chapter when it came to the Spectre, Kate's initial distrust was fun, though I have to admit in retrospect maybe she wasn't so wrong considering he has in a way been her enemy. And the overall framing wasn't entirely bad, even if the confusion (which I gotta admit maybe not everyone would experience on this level) prevented me from seeing that at first read.
Going on to Chapter 19, things flowed better, but... WHAT THE HECK?! That's some next-level broken stuff going on in this chapter. Creating a new whole dimension? I wouldn't say that's entirely impossible, but I wouldn't expect just anyone to be able to do that. Not even fully equipped, funded and manned research facilities dedicated to this stuff. I do have to wonder to what extents Charles's preparations went for making this happen. I don't know entirely what Charles and Red's plan was still, it wasn't explained very well if that was supposed to be the full explanation, but I suppose considering how Charles's introduction went from the start, creating the new dimension was part of the plan from the start. But yeah, considering that, I gotta give it to Charles when it comes to this. For such a thing to happen, he must have done a big part of the legwork and Red's fetching of a couple ingredients seems to pale in comparison to what Charles would probably have to have worked on on his side.
But really, what are the ramifications of this? So, we've got a new dimension that's kinda like Teenyweeny now, mere humans somehow have the ability to create new dimensions. The two of them had a crazy plan and I'm not sure how it would have ever worked. What happened to the Charles of that dimension? How was that Kate killed? Honestly, when it comes to this though I gotta give it to Rowana this time, Charles does come off as a bit scammy and douchey at how easily he accepts his failure and the consequences of his actions. At the same time, how does this interdimensional stuff work exactly? The dimension was only just created in Earth-dimension/Teenyweeny perspective, but it's experienced as much time as Teenyweeny has. Based on my understanding of how time in one dimension relates to time in another that should mean that the new dimensions experienced its entire timeline up to that point in a single moment (for other dimensions) and then its time slowed down to match Teenyweeny (or it's somewhere close to that, probably).
The image of Rowana's outburst in Unverse is pretty powerful. Imagining her floating alone in void, tears dissipating to nothing and her screams never being heard. Or something like that. It's pretty sad. Goes back to the scene of her looking at Flumberfluff Kate. Makes me want to have more Red-Kate scenes in the future. I susprisingly (though perhaps not so much) am struggling to remember any good interactions between them. Then again, my memory of SOTS is not the best I suppose. But still, when in retrospect Kate seems to have been such an important thing for her, I would like to see her exploring that bond at least as much as she has had with Aiden.
Also, what's a Versa? I take it it's a gun, but I don't think everyone knows gun names, if that's what it is. And if it isn't, then I still don't get what it's supposed to signify.
Chapter 20:
Hmm, most of that one was action so I don't know if I can give too much analysis. Aiden resorting to rushness after all is a bit disappointing. Mostly because it might cause problems for Leek Works later, which would be unfortunate. Plus, the consequences will probably be worse for it.
Have we always known that Brocktree manages Macabross? From a quick search of the name I have found mention of no such thing. From all I knew, Brocktree merely served to bring Rowana to the prison rather than supervising it, too. It's not a big thing, but seeing as this chapter takes it as a given, maybe you should mention it at some point.
It's interesting to see the effects of combined Aiden and how he uses that to his advantage, but I'd have to say the most fascinating thing of all is the concept of storage of weapons within one's Creative Spark. In retrospect, it might be an Aiden-specific thing similar to how he turned his Spark to a dimension, but how I interpreted it while reading was that it was an explanation of backpacks and the storage of so much stuff (as well as large stuff like rockets). Actually, you mentioned something about what was stored in his past spark, too, so I'd take that to mean it's the backpack explanation for everyone (with an "unlocked" spark). I find that pretty interesting. Personally, I'd tried to explain that thing by having special Nexus Force backpacks that have powers to store so much due to reasons and while I did not thoroughly explain it there, I did briefly mention that in INF I believe. However, I think I might like your version a lot more, though I think there would probably have to be a limit to that ability depending on one's skill/capacity.
As I mentioned earlier, I wonder if the fire in this part has anything to do with the fire from Chapter 18's end.
All in all, things are getting pretty exciting. I do think that some of the plots could have possibly been continued for a little while longer (at least the Kate one, but maybe the other did not have a lot more content to give to justify a Kate extension like that), but I don't think it really hurts the story that we didn't get that. It has been an enjoyable read.