I have now read this as well. Stir's got an uncanny ability of finding allies all over the place. Too bad that ability doesn't work on people he's actually looking for (rip Perry, rip Silverstines). Makes you wonder, though, how come the others don't come across allies so often. And then you realise it's basically just because he's the only character actively being written in this time frame. Well, there's Iamos & co as well (who on the large scale of things have received a lot of content in the time of thedude's conquest, even if not so much as of late), but they're not that interested in antagonising thedude at the moment. There's also the fact that there's probably so many people who're against thedude that everyone keeps bumping into them and it's just Stir who's been shown doing that. Makes you wonder what would happen if all those characters happened to meet up and bring all of their collected allies along the way... oh wait that's just SA.
Let's go with the individual notes: -Methuselah is called an enchanter here and maybe the same term was used in A Kindling Flame for his predecessor and I missed it or commented on it then, too, and then forgot, but that refers to the more literal enchanting does it not? It's not used in the way that Wiz usually uses it, right? Cause that'd be a pretty powerful rebel to account for.
-There was a time when it was very normal to use the word "smash" for death, but nowadays it always seems so weird when I see it in a story. At least a recently made one.
-Oh, Stir. Don't you know the North Island Nordeners fought off thedude because they stronk? also because they received Britay's support from the west, thedude's troops were tired from constant battle, they understood the land (or sea)scape a lot better and were more accustomed to fighting in the land's weather conditions
-"It was like a typical wizard's tower, but in reverse. And more booby-trapped": way to assume that typical wizard's towers aren't booby-trapped. Or that they're less booby-trapped than Methuselah's reverse-tower.
-I hope that the Ankorian Rebellion understands that Paradox Rogue weaponry has not only tracking devices, but also bugs and cameras and know how to remove them before saying or doing anything confidential in their presence.
-Hmm. The technology outage is an interesting concept. So far I've always imagined that technology fails during the semi-working-curse state are isolated per-piece-of-tecnhology incidents rather than affecting entire areas. Not that it also doesn't make sense to work like that, but it's definitely a differrent way to think about it.
-"that's why you don't argue with wizards": Nah, that's because if you anger a wizard they might turn you into a frog. Or cast other nasty hexes upon you.
-In regards to Stir momentarily worrying that he lost the NF comm: So you're over there, suggesting that Stir and Thingguy hid the comm. somewhere to use later. You realise there might be reasons why one would think that's not a very good idea, but it's not necessarily that bad + it's plot convenient for SA. Then, you see it's written that Stir's got it with him in this story after all. You say "All right, we can probably patch up how Thingguy and Stir meet in SA" and you acknowledge the reasons why that choice might be considered better than the alternative. Then James proceeds to demonstrate you all the reasons why that choice might not have been the best when Stir (almost) loses it after his ship crashes on the shore because he made a bad call about travelling the sea during the storm. 10/10. Though you could make the point that even if the author realises the issues seeing as he's writing the stuff, that doesn't mean that the character itself acknowledges them or considers them so grave. But hey Stir... can ya be a bit less reckless if you've got stuff to be responsible of other than your life?
-They've probably appeared before, but lol Hitchhiker's Guide references. I'm glad Perry knows the answer.
-Matheeas sounds like a cheap imitation of Matthias not gonna lie. Like those knockoff LEGO toys.
-Why are you hurting me with this Maelstrom energy stuff? First, you casually ignore conservation of energy/matter. But you know that's kinda fine. Lots of sci-fantasy does that, no one bats an eye. Then, however, you go and try to use that in order to create some dreaded loop of unlimited energy? You're kinda losing me there mate. Especially when you're doing it by only applying your unreasonable rules whenever it fits your unreasonable game. What's with this "put two together, get five, but separate the five and still get five"? Why's the rule not bi-directional. If there was some logic that the Maelstrom becomes all the stronger when it comes together, then it'd stand to reason that it becomes all the weaker when it's separated. But worst of all is the fact that this is all about Maelstrom. The Chaotic force of destruction is being very creative here. And I'll admit that I'm one to often depict as Maelstrom not being a necessarily purely destructive force, but one that can also wield creation for its goals, but this is taking it a bit too far methinks. Although ultimately I just think the unlimited energy's just the worst part. Please don't do that. Don't break the world.
-There's a lot more trees mentioned than I'd expect for Ankoria.
-But in general I really like how Ankoria's described here. You really nail it.
-The fact that this bridge is still called Bridge to the Unknown on the map when it's very much known what it leads to and that you would still use that name confuzzles me. Especially when Stir's using the bridge on the opposite direction from the "Unknown". Shouldn't it be the Bridge from the Unknown? :P But for real, what would the in-story reason for it being named like that be?
-Okay, so for the 4th chapter I'd like to report that it seemed kinda weird. Specifically the fact that while previous chapters alternated between Stir and Kal's POV, but only demonstrated either, the fourth one using both without anything changing to the format is somewhat jarring. Seeing this happen combined with the fact that both characters are out and about in Ankoria at that point creates the expectation they're going to meet. And they do... but in the next chapter. Chapter 4 falls a bit short (for me), because it creates the expectation, then doesn't meet it. The change to the POV pattern suggests something is different now, but nothing is ultimately. Not till the chapter after that. I'd personally suggest either merging the two chapters or adding a bit about their encounter finally happening at the end of Ch. 4. Because Ch. 4 gets so close to it, with Ch. 5 showing Kal and Kevin having found Stir right off the bat, but then it doesn't actually reach out to such low-hanging fruit.
-I like the Kevin-Kalaren dynamic. Mostly how silly Kevin is, but you can have no Kevin without his straight man. The plan bit was especially amusing.
-Is it a weird idea that it takes training and possibly skills to use Faction Gear and that they're not the same for every kit and faction? It might have just been an extra reason to explain why people don't use other factions' gear much, but it's somewhat ingrained to me now and it feels strange that Stir would not only be able to use Perry's pistols, but also use them with precision, even if he's had experience with Space Rangers' zipguns or pistols in general. Then again, I don't know how much training he's had with them since he received them from Peragrine.
-Not gonna lie, the Chapter 5 title while funny doesn't seem to entirely fit the chapter, as it's hardly about the eggs.
-Saw some Rouges and some Militeregnums. Not letting you off the hook, mister (misters?)
-"This made it very unlikely, but not impossible, that they were not allied with Vladek either": are you sure you've not got this double/triple negative wrong?
-âWould you believe I crash-landed in a spaceship near the coast?â Suddenly, he shook his head. âNo, you wouldnât. Youâd go looking for the ship. Sadly, thereâs nothing left of my sea-faring vessel": Does Stir actually mean spaceship here? If so, then why does he refer to it as a sea-faring vessel later?
-Every time someone mentions that many KOTOS are dead (or captured), I feel like we've done something wrong, because that's actually not that true. Even when you add the Gemini and Squeaky's supposed deaths to the toll, we don't actually have that many confirmed deaths of KOTOS (although Squeaky's not technically KOTOS) in the series.
-Matheeas, for a Matthias knockoff, is a pretty intriguing character what with his knowledge of and interest in the Nexus Force. Well, the Ankorian rebellion in general is. Jellyfish is an option as to where they could have learnt from, but I also kinda doubt they'd be able to get a lot of good intel out of him. And that would still leave the question of why he'd be so interested. I also forget the details from Kalaren's backstory. No Nexus Force was mentioned in that one, was there?
-Not a good day to be Stirling lol
-Stirling meeting Kalaren makes me realise that Jonna is the only character of the family that's not met with Stir. I'd also accept her meeting Kal or Sara.
-I'd like to think that there's probably a limit to how friendly someone can be to their prisoners before it gets inappropriate for your position and I think that offerring nickname alternatives as part of your introduction might just be surpassing that limit.
All in all, a good read. Had fun with it. Sometimes I worry that I don't have nearly enough positive things to say in my individual points, so I hope it doesn't come off as me not enjoying your stories.
Oh also, let's not forget. Nice to see more of Kal's work.