I recommend you first listen to the source for this (the video Harry Potter in 99 Seconds), but on the other hand it contains spoilers if you haven't read/watched the Harry Potter books/films. Choose wisely. So, here it is, I present to you: Perpetual Doom in 99 Seconds:
There once was a boy named Talmid destined to be a Knight
His stories were rated by thedude, who gave him a nasty comment
"Talmid, thou art an Artisan!"
Talmid goes to the Nexus Force, he meets Luke and Thingguy
Matthias requires they fight the Paradox Rogues
Jonna is a spunky girl, they take the yellow-brick road
The Paradox Rogues are destroyed by the KotOS
Barney takes captives,
now Talmid's gone
and Luke is in monkey danger
thedude hides Barney inside his ginormous secret base!
The doorbell blows up a Rogue
New KotOS come and they Charrrge!!!!!
Lukey is hit, Ruby's a girl
And now the Prisoners are on board
They use extra chapters to save the consistency of the story,
which just so happens to be ruined by multiwriting. I don't really get it either!
Lukey is put in the Peculiar Enchanter's house
With Squirrels and hot chocolate
Oh no! Sir Sharpie was slain, now he's back!
Talmid, Talmid. It's getting scary.
Plot holes are back. Now you're thedude's evil minion Talmid
Aquilones, Aquilones! Why are they ignoring our constant attempts to make peace?
They are forced to flee the castle
Major arrives, Barney is a Bot!
Knights break into the citadel
Lady Jonna is freed by a fish!
Take the sword
Escape from the roof
They hide in the caves
They ride to the South!!!
There once was a boy named Talmid, who constantly got captured.
But in one final duel between Grammar and thedude, the Knights become scattered ashes!
Not everything is exactly in the perfect order, but I think it's quite good! :P Nevermind that, it's perfect! :P