Hrhrmrmhrhrhhmmmeehhm...
As far as the content goes, it's insane and a little twisted with a touch of potential for the future. I like it. And heck yeah I knew that was Vladek!
I hope you won't take my following comments as a sign of not liking the story, for I very much did. But... some notes:
- "the village outside thedude's castle". I'm not sure what's that supposed to mean. For one thing, thedude's castle isn't very specific as this could mean either Orlan or Thunderclap (or even thedude's base from PD). Which also reminds me of the question of when all this is taking place. For another thing, either of these have no village outside them, rather cities. I guess Thunderclap didn't immediately have a city built around it, but I doubt it got to evolve from a village, rather it was probably built as a town from the very beginning. There would be villages nearby outside of those cities, yeah, but since they're almost certainly more than one, I don't see a way someone could be talking about the village outside thedude's castle. If it was next to instead of outside at least it could be in the sense that it's the nearest one, but with outside you can't single out one. Writing a village outside thedude's castle would certainly amend what appears to be the issue to me, but I just wonder if there's something else you meant that I didn't realise.
- "Kalaren used the blade part of the weapon to swing around, as the firing system wouldn't work with water", are we sure that's true? Normal guns can't fire properly underwater apparently, yes, but since most probably wormholers don't fire actual bullets rather what looks like Maelstrom blasts (or something), I'm not sure it's necessary the same applies to them. It doesn't matter much for the story, but I wouldn't like to rule out the possibility just yet. Especially seeing as now that I think about it, the idea of under-water use of a Wormholer seems cool to me and could make for an interesting fight scene in the future.
- "Doubly unfortunate, for the sharks, Doctor Jellyfish had his blaster, and an empty missile cartridge, which he used to shoot the waiting sharks, causing them to scatter". This sentence doesn't make much sense to me. Either it suggests the Doctor used an empty missile cartridge to shoot the sharks. Or the empty missile cartidge is irrelevant to the shooting of the blaster and thusly I'm not sure why it's mentioned when all it adds to the story is confusion.
- Port Domead: I just find it funny how I initially wrote Deserted Town there, which Harold read as Drymead and then Talmid as Domead. Great communication everyone! :P
- It pains me slightly to read about 'smashing' even after we've left the Lego Message Boards and Gallery! :P
- "The curse is that people slowly turn mean and hostile and generally evil!" it could be that they're just misinformed themselves or oversimplifying it, but that's not how the curse works. The Curse of Ankoria is in fact made of two curses, the first one not allowing anything (good) to grow in Ankoria. A direct result of that is that there's very little to no flora growing in the Darkland and it's mostly a barren land. I guess even when something grows it's the kind of dead-like/dead forest mentioned here. As a more subtle result of that curse, people living a long time in Ankoria might start being corrupted, too, as nothing good grows in them and darkness starts to increase instead. The second part of the curse has it that Ankoria can never bloom and instead of success it will always meet destruction. This has led to the first kingdom of Ankoria falling, the Aquilone and Britayan colonies there decaying until they were completely abandoned, the kingdom of the Morgai collapsing, and even Vladek's defeats could be attributed to have been influenced by that curse. As a result of that, I'm afraid for the Ankorian resistance as the odds are very much against them.
As for countering the curse, because this is a more passive subtle kind of curse that works over an entire place and/or its people rather than on each person individually, I'm not sure how well that would work on the long run. It might work for a while, but in the end the curse might bring decay to their protection even. Certainly I don't see those curses being weakened after the death of the Sorcerer, seeing as they're very much ingrained to the very foundations of Ankoria. It's in the vales and the mountains. It's in the water of its rivers. It's in the roots of the ancient trees that still hold on to the place even after such long-lasting adversity (though they may no longer be alive, at least they've managed to still stand there).
- Finally, we come to Margothor. I did say to Stirling that Margothor is a cursed city. That does not refer to the curse of the whole land. I'm talking about the fact that some of the most evilly magical entities in the history of Milt lived there for many years in the past and their presence has changed the place forever. Entering the ruins gives a considerable likelihood of not coming out of it, too. The hostile magic once weaved into it, with which it was built still lingers. There may be still traps and curses left that could kill one here or there, but more importantly once you enter you are not likely to avoid the evil spirit of the city still inhabiting even centuries after the original entities who embodied it have left. You will feel its presence. You will try to ignore it, but you won't be able to. You'll hear it beckoning you, summoning you to the depths of the city, where the magic gets stronger and stronger. You'll try to resist it, but true magic is not for the weak-willed. You have a high chance of getting drawn in. You won't be sure what exactly it is calling you. Something ineffable. Something deep and ancient. Something inspiring awe and fear. Something emanating rage and hatred. You'll reach the centre, if you haven't died already, and there the core of this atmoshphere will lie. It might just kill you right then and there. Or you might lose all will to live. You might become stunned and stare into the void forever on. You might turn insane. Or you might be corrupted and stay there to kill whoever comes next. Or decide to leave Margothor to spread its darkness.
Margothor is an evil place and out of these notes that's the most troublesome one, as I think it's the only issue I have that seems to really go against something that's important in the story. Hmm... I don't know.
To leave you off on a good note, though, I liked Doctor Jellyfish! Very good. Vladek was cool as always and I look forward to how you explore the idea of Kalaren's clone. Also, how the Ankorian Resistance continues. For which again I ask when this all happens. It'd be good to know how this connects to international affairs and whether or not it might affected Scattered Ashes.