Why did I explode?
I suppose it is easy to assume that I exploded from some stupid sense of anger, and that is half the story. But there is another half.Â
The following factors led to the facade of calm being cracked:Â
1: Another friend came to me, admitting they had both an addiction and suicidal tendencies. The same friend collects swords and is in an unhealthy relationship, so is in a good position to act on the suicidal tendencies. This means I have yet another person to keep from committing suicide.Â
2: In school I still cannot pull things together, my grades, which were rising, continue to fall, and despair continues to talke hold
3: mental status is currently degrading. My OCD Has returned, and has again tried to be preventative of basic activity, as well as hurting my grade and causing more fear for my suicidal friends, feeding the loop that has led to this.
4: You may notice this is all 'here's why my life sucks and I'm angry' and that's the central thing. I focus too much on myself, and therefor, am more easily angered. I fully and freely admit you have every right to be enraged, angered, seek support from your friends. Now I won't deny there's other reasons that I cracked, but these four are the ones I can fix. The other is more complicated. I suppose this could be called a confession with the intent to apologize. so I am truly sorry. I know you will not forgive me fully, for there is no good reason to, and much reason not to. I merely wish to admit I am in the wrong, and thus, despite what Talmid and some others would insist, should not stay.Â
With apologies, Theo, former representative of the CODÂ