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It was just over noon when the 'Janitor' reappeared, as sudden as earlier. "I'm back! Strange Odd Shadow pointed out I should find you". James jumped. "WHO ARE YOU?" He yelled, while Rebecca again drew her pistol. "Strange Odd Shadow, of course" "The Original Janitor!" James calmed down. "Then what do you want?” "I was sent to find you". "By whom?" James inquired, while Rebecca slowly lowered her weapon. “I already told you. Strange Odd Shadow”. “So...you sent yourself to find us..." James parsed this in his head. "I hate time travel. "Who time travelled? Sounds interesting. Was the Federation involved?"

James facepalmed. "I  hate you."

"I like you, too!" "So, where's your dimension device?". "Go. Away." James commanded, walking off. Hearing the word dimension, he paused. "Wait...my Janra?" "Is that your uncle or something?" "No, it's a dimensional travel crystal I had." James replied. "I got rid of it." "Rid of it how? Did you make a mess?" "I gave it to a friend and had him destroy it." James became solemn. "Oh. Well, mess cleaned. Seems like I don't need to interfere! Bye!" He disappeared. "What is..." James sighed, and Rebecca laughed. "What? "You're ridiculous." Then, Shadow reappeared. "Never caught your names?" Rebecca spoke first. "I'm Rebecca, this idiot's James." "Okay, bye! Idiot! Beccy!". Shadow disappeared again, but then reappeared almost instantly. "Just occured to me. Do you have a Jarna, too, Bec?" "Will you stop doing that?" Rebecca asked as politely as possible. "Also, it's Rebecca, and as for my JANRA, it's broken." "Messy. But it'll do. I like being a Janitor, but that doesn't mean I like having to clean people's messes everywhere”. "Ok..." James interrupted. "So, why are you here?" "I'm the Janitor". "Of what?" James asked aggressively. "Of everything? Maybe. I'm the original one, though!" James facepalmed. "What? You're a fan of the Succeeding Janitor?" "No, this just makes no sense. At all." "What's THIS for you to require it to produce sense?" "Just please shut up." James requested. "I rebel". "And no Star Wars references!" James cried. "I've had enough of that dimension as is." "Oh boy! Look at the time! I'm almost late for my regular sudden disappearance". James facepalmed again, while Rebecca laughed even harder. Shadow disappeared again.

One eternity later… Or rather two hours later.

During their long trek, James and Rebecca came upon a tree. It wasn't the only tree there since it was a wood, but the tree was special. Because a Strange Odd Shadow was growing on it. Or that was what he was trying to look like at least. "What are you doing?" James asked, exasperated. "Photosynthesis". Rebecca glared. "Shadow, get off the tree." "Shoosh. I'm an apple now". "No, you aren't." Rebecca replied. "That's an oak tree." "I did not say otherwise" "You implied so." "I said nothing" "What is wrong with you?" she asked after a moment. "Perhaps the fact that I'm upside down. I'm getting dizzy. I expected you here sooner". "Well then get down!" James exclaimed. "Interesting proposal. I will consider it and get back to you on it". James thought for a moment, then yanked Shadow off of the tree. Falling down and hitting his head, Shadow quickly got up. "Aha! So, you're Federation, then!' "No, you were being annoying." James replied.

"I know to be annoying towards Federation men".

"WHAT FEDERATION?" James asked, unable to stay patient. "Come on, Beccy. Let's leave that hypocrite and go find some real friends". Rebecca facepalmed. "He's not with the Federation, he just, like me, doesn't know what's going on. Besides, he's my husband." "Oooh. You're married. Is this your honeymoon? I always love to see newly wed couples? How was the wedding?" "Not a honeymoon, we've been married for nine years." She replied with a sigh. "That's a long honeymoon". "IT'S NOT A HONEYMOON!" She exclaimed. "We didn't have a honeymoon." "Oh. So you decided to have a honeymoon now? I've heard people do that". "No. This is not a honeymoon." She said again. "We don't really have time for one." "There's always time for working on your relationship. I think all you two need is to really listen to each other and your relationship problems will dissipate in no time. Otherwise, I have a really good couple therapist to recommend". "We don't need a honeymoon to have a good relationship." James interrupted. "It's just that we're generally busy, because whenever we have free time, the world decides to try to end." "See, that's why you have problems with your wife. You take her for granted, work all the time for the Federation and then when you come back to the house, you're too tired for her". "We don't work for the Federation! Besides, we work together! We have time to talk! Except when being shot at and annoyed by janitors." "I don't remember ever shooting you. Wanna do so now?". Rebecca shook her head. "He means other people, not you, shoot at us." "Okay", he conjured an Inventor launcher after hearing the words “Shoot at us” and shot at Rebecca, only the launcher failed. "Hey, what's with this? Is it broken?" he looked inside its barrel. "Don't do that." James commanded. "Do what?". "Don't look down your weapon's barrel!" He exclaimed. "Oh that? It's more fun, if you pull the trigger, too", Shadow replied, but put the launcher back in his backpack. "So, have you guys by any chance seen Strange Odd Shadow around?". "That's you!" James cried out. Rebecca shook her head "James, he seems a little confused." "Oh, I understand why you might be confused. He also goes by the names of John Steele and Wiz Ardon, usually. So, I've heard at least". "That's still you." James stated wearily. Shadow stared at James for a moment, then turned to Rebecca, "You're right, Becca. Jim's an idiot". Rebecca sighed. "You told us you were Strange Odd Shadow." "I recall". "And you asked if we had seen Strange Odd Shadow, who is you." She continued "Incorrect". "So there are two people by your name?" She asked. "More, I believe". Rebecca nodded. "So are we talking about time travel or multiple dimensions?" "Jimmy's the one who mentioned time travel. I'm the one who mentioned dimensional thingies". "Ok, can we please stick with just one of you?" She requested. "I don't think that's the author's intent." "Great." James muttered. "Just great. Infinite idiots." "I am proud to be able to call myself a genius". "Well, you're an annoying one." James stated. "Ha! You didn't even queschon the truth or objectivity of my words". James gave up. Rebecca simply asked, "Could you please tell us what this...Federation is?" "The Federation? We can't speak out in the open! They might be listening!". "Then where can we speak?" Shadow thought about it for a moment. "I'd say nowhere". "Oh joy." James remarked. "So what do you want, Shadow?" "World domination. Or maybe world peace? Either one is good". "Well, I support peace. Why domination?" "Sounds like fun. I could finally forbid people walking slowly in front of me". "You're ridiculous." James stated. "Still, why do you want us?" "It's your beautiful smile that slaves me". "Very funny." James said with a groan. "So, what are you guys up to?". "Trying to deal with an orc invasion." Rebecca replied."And you?" "Oh. I'm just stuck here, because my dimensional gear seems to be malfunctioning". "Well...ok then." James sighed. "Have you seen Stirling Silverstine?" "Oh yeah. Stirling. Old pal of mine. We used to hang back in the day before the Spiderling Invasion". "Have you seen him? He's somewhere on this planet." James began to seem hopeful. "Not really. I have no idea who he is". James glared. "Explain." "Simple. I lied". "I hate you." "That's no way to talk to your suitor". James gave SOS an odd look. "Get some help." "Okay. Wanna help me?'. "I want you to go away." He replied. "Okay. But when you're missing me, it won't be my fault!".He disappeared again. "What is this guy's problem?" James asked, turning to Rebecca. "I dunno." She replied with a shrug.

THE GRAVE SCENE (SHOCK!!!)

[...]

James stared at him when he heard Rebecca's name then groaned and backed off. "The wound will not heal. He's taken precautions against it". "Then what do we do?" "Let's just stop the bleeding for now". James nodded, then pulled a small pouch from his pockets. From the pouch he withdrew a small thing of water, and some cloth. As soon as James began to tend to the Janitor’s wound, though, a figure materialised just next to them. It was… the Janitor. Young, not wounded Shadow made eye contact with James then looked at himself. “Oh, drick! Really?!” And with that he vanished again. “What…?” James began, confused. “What does he think he’s doing, time travelling around a dimension?!” older Shadow does not seem happy. “He could mess it all up! In so many different ways”, then as if he felt bad for speaking like that for the injured man, he added, “Hang in there, Shadow”.

James seemed unsure. “Look, the bleeding won’t stop, the wounds won’t heal. How do we keep him alive?” “Well, I can transport him to a dimension with better medical care, but I’m afraid of what it might do to him in this state”. “What if you bring equipment from another dimension here?” “Τhe curse around here might mess it up. I think I might transport him anyway. It’s the only chance he’s got”, the old Shadow approached the younger one, but at that moment the Janitor began to cough and blood came out of his mouth. His eyes looked at his older counterpart in fear and then three words escaped his mouth, “It is finished!”

James paused, and looked at both in caution. “Why is he scared of you?” He asked, slowly reaching into his satchel. Old Shadow did not reply. The younger one’s eyes were now blankly staring into the distance. His chest no longer moved. He was dead… James repeated his question. “WHY WAS HE SCARED OF YOU?” “The man was dying. He was not scared of me! He was scared. Period. Why would I hurt myself anyway?”.

“I don’t know. Why are there three of you? Why are you fighting Wiz Ardon? Alot of this makes no sense. Now answer the question.” His face was set in stone, his hand gripping something.

“He and I are from different dimensions. And he’s time travelling. That’s why you saw two of him! And Wiz Ardon is my arch-enemy!”

“Who is also in possession of your name, Strange Odd Shadow. For all I know, you are Wiz.”

“This is preposterous. I am not Wiz Ardon and he’s not me. He’s an entirely different person who want my and my dimension’s doom! The one he’s achieved. The other’s still pending”.

All of a sudden, something changed in the atmosphere. The air seemed to be chillier and the world quieter. The living Strange Odd Shadow looked around him, fear reflected in his eyes, much like his younger version earlier. He found what he was looking for behind James.

James looked over his shoulder and saw a figure standing there. The man was wearing purple robes and a blue wizard hat, which hid his lowered face. Only the curve of his sinister smile was visible below it.

“Did someone call my name?”.

James glared. “Are you responsible for the presence of the orcs?”

“Orcs? Oh, are you talking about the ugly goblins? No. They’re just toys I found”, he raised his head and two joyful, yet threatening, violet eyes gazed at James.

“Are you the reason they took this town?” He asked. He betrayed no emotion.

The newcomer’s eyes fell upon Rebecca’s grave, “Ooh. We’ve come a-visiting. Who died? Was I the one who killed them?”.

“Answer my question, and I’ll answer yours.” James replied.

“You need to go as fast as you can”, Strange Odd Shadow told James. “If you stay here he’s going to kill you!”

“Don’t take away my toys, John”.

“ANSWER MY QUESTION, YOU SON OF A BRICK-!”

“I will have you know that it was only my grandmother that was a brick. Are we sad about the town, James?”

“Answer my question now, or I kill myself. Then you’re down a toy.” He stated.

“Oh really? This one’s interesting. And what if you can’t kill yourself? Or maybe what if I let you kill yourself? What would happen then? What about the noble purpose of your existence?”

“I don’t have much reason to live. So I’d put a bullet in my head.”

“Oh, poor thing. You’ve given up, haven’t you? John, have you delivered me a broken toy? Maybe, I’ll have to fix you”.

Before Wiz or James got to do or say anything more, Strange Odd Shadow fired an Inventor Launcher he’d produced out of his backpack at Wiz. The latter just grabbed the blast with his hand and it went out.

“Naughty John. Interrupting me while I’m having a conversation. Oh, but it’d seem our time is over”.

In the next instance, James felt himself -and the whole world with him- breaking to little pieces until everything ceased to exist. Then, everything came back together. James fell to his knees in pain, and groaned. “What did you just do?” He gasped past his suffering. It took James a moment to realise he was alone. When he did, he sat down, and tried to figure out what had happened.

The Fez-wearing Shadow appeared at that moment, “Oh man. That was not nice. Did you know that my arms and legs were not the only parts of me he switched?”.

“Am I...dead?” James asked, confused. “This is my purgatory, isn’t it. Or...is it he-”

“No, silly. If it was purgatory, you wouldn’t get to hang with me, would you?”.

“Then it’s hell.” James muttered.

“Indeed we shouldn’t turn down options without evidence… But I feel quite alive”.

“Can we just figure out where we are for real?”

“Hard to say. I mean I don’t even know if you exist”.

“...” James punched him in the face suddenly. “That convince you?”

“Not really”.

The Older Shadow joined them at that time and swore “Bastard!”.

“What’s going on?” James inquired.

“You’re alive?!” the recently arrived Shadow looked at the Janitor in surprise.

“Unless we’re all dead, as Mr James over here seems to think we are”.

James grinned. “I was joking”

“We could be, though”.

“Younger me. Just shut up. You’re not helping”.

“I take orders from no one. Hey, guys! Isn’t it weird that we all appeared in the same order?”.

James swore softly. “Dammit.” He repeated louder. “DAMMIT! BLOODY HELL I HATE THIS SON OF A BITCH!” He continued to shout. “WILL YOU STOP IT, WIZ?”

“What? You found Wiz?” the Janitor asked.

“You, shut up. Mature one, doesn’t it seem odd how this is all timed to the exact second in arrival, when compared to the first time?”

“Interesting theory”, mature Shadow looked at his robotic arm, which featured a watch.

“No, not a theory. I’ve been counting.”

“I mean what you’re suggesting by this. And I think you’re right. This is fifteen minutes earlier than it should be, unless I completely lost track of time. And I did not”.

“So, time looped?” Fez Shadow asked.

“Ding ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!” a bodiless voice rang out in the air.

Wiz Ardon materialised behind James and put his hand on the latter’s shoulder, “So, what do you want to do now that we have the whole eternity together?”.

“I want an answer.”

“Gee, you’re boring. No, I never attacked any towns. I did teleport some Orcs to a desert, though”.

“Ok.” James drew his pistol, and shot at Wiz.

Wiz smiled widely as older Shadow collapsed, his leg shot.

“Faileth!”.

Sighing, he threw down the gun. “Sorry Shadow. Well, I...I don’t want blood shed here.”

“We can arrange that. A bloodless wound then”, a sword materialised in Wiz’s hands and beheaded James.

Only James did not die.

“No violence. Any of you. No death, no injury, nothing.” He declared with his annoyingly decapitated head, then attached it back to his body. “Ardon, that’s for you especially.”

“The Game’s not fun that way”.

“James, this man betrayed a whole dimension to the Maelstrom, just because he felt like that that day. Do you think he’ll respect anything?”.

“If he kills a single person on my wife’s grave, I will kill him.” James replied.

“This was your wife? Oh, poor you. Maybe, I can do something about it”, the man smiled again.

Rebecca’s tombstone began to shake until it exploded to pieces, accompanied by the ground next to it cracking in two. A gray hand emerged out of the crevice and then another one. A gray-coloured Rebecca with shining white eyes appeared and looked at James.

“Hi, James. I’m back. Come and kiss me as a proper husband should do”.

Not falling for this trickery, James shot the...abhoration, angrily. “NEVER TOUCH MY WIFE!” He fired the pistol fifteen times, until the slide locked back, and reloaded it, firing several more rounds.

‘Rebecca’ ignored the wounds, out of which snake heads appeared and began to walk towards James.

“Come on dear. Give me a hug”.

James glared at Wiz, ignoring the thing. “Why?” He asked, shooting it again. “Are you?” He fired twice now, “Doing this?” He then emptied out the weapon again.

“Come on, James. This is fun! Don’t you want to play the Game?”

He shook his head, and began to sob.. “Please...stop this…”

“I’m not a miracle worker, James. To solve your marital problems, you’ve got to work. Why don’t you hug her as she wants?”

“Because that’s not her. Everything about her is wrong. For one thing, the real Rebecca wasn’t snake infested. For another thing, she never spoke like that. And, I saw her die. I buried her here. That’s not her. STOP THIS NOW!”

The two Shadows, seeming to have become petrified, watched as ‘Rebecca’ made a few more steps towards James, her facial features becoming distorted and monstrous.

“Then, maybe you’ll recognise this!” she produced a pistol and fired a single shot at James.

“And also, she wouldn’t shoot at me.” James muttered as he fell to the ground with a hole in his stomach.

“Well, one can only be so accurate”.

Disassembly. Wiz’s echo still being heard in the void created. Then, everything assembled back to fifteen minutes earlier. James alone. The grave intact.

James sat down, and wept without speaking. His mind was chaotic, his emotions confused.

A few seconds later, the Janitor reappeared and he collapsed to the ground.

“Am I the only one getting a bit of a deja vu?”

James did not respond. He simply thought for a moment, before speaking, “Why? Why would he...why would he do that?”

“Well, apparently he seems to be seeing all of this as a Game. Which by the way we just lost”

James shrugged. “I...I’m going to kill him.”

“Suit yourself. I think I’m going to see if we’re trapped in a particular area or if we can go away?” he began to walk away.

“I’m not going to leave her.” James stated. “You go.”

Silence followed as it was some moments before the other Shadow collapsed nearby.

“I hate stunning spells”, he said as he got up. “Are you okay, James?”

James shrugged. “Tis what it is.”

“He’s going to come back sooner or later”

“I know. And I’m not going to let him touch her.”

“And how exactly are you gonna do that?”

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “But I will try.”

“I’ve known him for years and I still don’t know how to stop him. The only reason I’ve survived all he’s done is that he lets me live so that I can experience next time. What do you think you’re going to achieve this way?”

“I don’t know. But I promised her mother I’d look after her.” He primed his handgun with a heavy face. “I’m not going to break that oath today, or any other day.”

“She’s already dead and you can’t protect her anymore. Nothing you do affects her now either one way or the other. If you want to honour her, choose to live. That’s what she’d want”

James reluctantly stood. “If he even touches a hair of her, I will hold you responsible.”

“Let’s just find a way out of here and out of the loop and then you can look after that grave all you want with a future included in the deal”.

“Fine.” He looked around, and sighed. “Lead on.”

“Did you see where my idiotic counterpart went?” Shadow spoke as he began to walk in a random direction.

James pointed to where the other Shadow had gone, and as Shadow walked away, took one last mournful look at the grave, then followed.

“Are you any more interested in finding him than me?” Shadow asked.

He shook his head. “I just want to be with her. And if that means being bothered by him, so be it.”

Shadow sighed as he changed directions, “I guess I should make sure he doesn’t get himself killed”

James walked over to the grave, and sat down next to the stone, his mind occupied. “You can go, Shadow.”

“Fine, if you don’t want to get out of here, I can’t change that. Hope you don’t die”.

James was left alone again, allowed to reflect on the past few days. A voice suddenly interrupted his train of thought.

“So, what do you think? Does violet suit my eyes?” Wis said appearing seated by the side of James

“You know what we did on our wedding night?” James asked, his face nostalgic. “We just sat on a hill outside of the capital, looking at the stars. Eventually she just fell asleep in my arms…”

“I think you’re right. Blue’s better for me. Goes with my hat after all”, Wiz’s eyes turned blue.

“What do you want?” James asked Wiz, as he went through old memories in his head.

“Style is important you know. First impressions matter”.

“Yes, and I’m just missing the past.” He replied.

“That’s good. Now you get to relive it again and again and again and again and again!”

“Not the parts I miss.”

“I tried to help you with that. Not very appreciative as far as I remember”

“I want to go back to those times. Not have a damned snake zombie following me around.”

“I like snake zombies. They’re good company and very entertaining”

“Clearly we have different standards of good company.”

“At least, we’re good company to each other”.

James gave him an odd look. “I want to kill you, and you say we’re good company?”

“Isn’t that good company?”

“I question your understanding of the English language.”

“Oh boy. When the doctors said I was a psychopath, could they perhaps mean something like that?”

“No. That’s idiocy, not pyscopathy”

“So, the others left. They think they can find a way out?”

“I don’t know what they think.” James stated thoughtfully.” I just know they left me.”

“Heartless Johns, leaving their friend like that. At least, you have me”

He nodded, then spoke. “Do you want to know a bit about the person whose grave you desecrated, and whose body you tormented?”

“Sure. I’m always in for a good story”

“Good. Well...where do I start?” James thought for a moment before speaking. “Ah, yes. The first time we met, well, she shot at me. I had gotten lost in a parking lot, and I got our cars mixed up. When I tried to open her car’s door, well, apparently she was in the back, so she pulled a gun on me.”

“Seems like I got that part right”

“That was an accident.” James said in disagreement. “Now, the second time we met was...well, her brother was a friend of mine. So at some point when we were hangin’ out, she came by to visit his dorm.” James paused, and added, “This was all in college, by the way. Anyhow, she comes by to visit, and then sees me. It was an interesting conversation, but we all had a good laugh over it. Especially Marcus.”

“Interesting how? Was there any blood?”

“No. She just got to awkwardly say hi to the person she shot at.”

“Hmm. Wouldn’t sell. Have her attack you or something. It’ll be more successful”

“It’s real life, not some action flick.”

“As your new manager, I have decided to make your life a book. And then a movie. And then we’ll make a videogame and action figures!”

“My life? Please. Who would ever want to hear about that? It’s too depressing.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Well, Rebecca and I got married eventually, and even had a daughter. Cute little girl named Charlotte. Who was then murdered by my brother in law.”

“Now, that would sell. But it’s no more depressing than any other movie around. Give me the juicy part, James!”

“Well, then he destroyed my planet of birth, tried to kill my wife and I, caused the destruction of our dimension, and killed several of our friends before we took him out. And, well...she died when we were taking this town back from the orcs.”

Wiz thought it over for a moment, “I see what you mean now. Pretty harsh. Keep in mind, though, that there are worse fates than that”

“Like being trapped for eternity in a time loop with a murderous freak?”

“Like getting your whole dimension infected. Poor John and me. We are losing our world as we speak just like you. Only in our case it is replaced with a hellish version of what it used to be”

“He said you did it intentionally.” James said accusatively.

Wiz smiled as innocently as he could, “Really? I don’t recall. John makes jokes like that. Or maybe it was Taco Tuesday. Tacos disagree with me”

“What a wonderful excuse.”

“Okay, you got me. Just poor John. But it’s all part of the Game isn’t it? It’s not my fault John’s losing”

“Why pull me into this?”

“Don’t you want to play?”

“No. I want my family. And since I can’t have that, I want to be able to guard this place in peace.”

“Oh, but look at the time”, he said looking at his bare wrist. “If my calculations are correct we should begin anew just about now”

“Just please let me be.” James said, just as the loop reoccurred.

A few moments late, the Janitor was brought back.

“Dang it. We got more than fifteen minutes and I hoped it was working”

“Damn.” James muttered. “Wiz thinks I’m apathetic, I’m gonna use that to distract him. You guys find a way out, ok?”

“It would seem that the farther we go, the longer the loop lasts, I think. So, walking out of here is out of the queschon”

“Are you sure?”

“Not really. I’d have to repeat the experiment more times to see, but I don’t think we’re here for research. It seems the most logical explanation, though”

“So we’re stuck here.”James sighed. “keep looking, I’ll keep Wiz distracted.”

“Hey, was this sword always here?” Shadow pointed to a sword sticking out of the ground nearby.

“No…” James began, confused. “What in the hell?”

“Wanna pull it or shall I?”

He shrugged. “be my guest.”

Shadow approached the sword. He gripped the hilt and pulled. As soon as it was out, Wiz’s voice was heard yelling, “AND WE HAVE A CHALLENGER!!!”

Wiz and the other Shadow appeared almost at the same time. The former was holding an identical sword and the latter just swore.

“I SAID NO BLOODSHED OR VIOLENCE ON HER GRAVE!” James yelled out in fury, drawing his handgun and leveling it on Wiz. “DROP THE SWORD!”

“I thought you wanted to kill me, James. I decided to give you a fair chance. Sword against sword. We can take this away if you like. But I’m afraid you didn’t pull the sword. Now, John Junior gets to fight me. Maybe, next time, James”

“Either no fight, or if there has to be one, I fight you. Hurt either of these two, and I will make your life painful.” James glared, his eyes dangerous.

“Fine, you don’t need all this sweet talk to persuade me. John, why don’t you hand him the sword?”

“Don’t”, the older Shadow commanded, “It’s probably a trap”.

He nodded. “I know. Shadow, give me the sword.”’

“I’m not much of a sword fighter anyway”, the Janitor shrugged and approached James to give him the sword, “Here you are”.

James reluctantly took it, and turned to Wiz. “You’re in control, right? Take us somewhere other than here.”

“We don’t need to bother with that. Let’s just walk somewhere”

After a moment of thinking, James came to a conclusion. “Fine. Follow me.” He began to take a winding route out of town, and in around half an hour, they were in a forest clearing. “This do?”

“Seems good to me. But I’m afraid we’re running out of time. See ya after the time leap. We meet back here”

It was a good minute of silence before the world broke apart to be rebuilt into the area around the grave. The sword reappeared in James’s hand almost immediately, and he sighed in anger.