I like it! It's very steady all the way through. It's got hints of a mystery, and also confusion.
...I might also apparently like it because it's from something I'm familair with, even though I sorta regret it, and I also never got to Season 13. I think I stopped at 10? Dunno.
Anyway, Bottom line, I like it!
My little brother, Kal, started wanting to see what was making me laugh so hard, and that's when I realized that I didn't want him to see or understand 90% of the show's jokes. It was wrong, on so many levels. So I stopped watching it, and Kal's interest waned off.
And actually, the same thing has happened with this story. I can't have him read it. But that's why it's your story, and not mine. :)
I.
HATE.
BABIES."
LOL!!!!
"That was the worst throw ever. Of all time."
"Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way."
BTW, I'd recommend when Kal is not around watching Seasons 11-13, I think those kinda got better. It got better with Season 6 really, gaining a story and all. Still alot of stuff to ignore in terms of jokes, but I think it is actually good.