Stories by the Fire

Scary Stories on Hallowe’en’s Eve

Three Rogues were seated around a camp fire in a forest clearing, warming their hands from the night’s cold even though if they’d understood their suits slightly better, they’d have known that they had settings that provided thermal insulation and internal heating.

“I’ve got to say, though, volunteering to investigate this forest right before Hallowe’en was the best idea we’ve had in months. Just imagine all the other Rogues that will be waking up in just a few hours to get ready for the Candy Harvest and we’re here just chilling”, Joe was satisfied.

“I wonder if it’s bad that we’re not really investigating the woods though”, Phil was worried.

“Come on, it’s not like there’s going to actually be anything hiding here. The mission was so low-priority it hadn’t even been assigned to anyone for two weeks. Besides, Ned went out looking for water. That counts as investigating in my book”, Roger reassured him.

“Yeah man, it’s heaven. We get to go camping and do nothing and just relax. We’ve got our camp fire and our marshmallows and we don’t need to get back until the Candy Harvest is over. It’s perfect!” Joe shared his enthusiasm.

“I suppose”.

“...”, silence followed for a moment or two.

“It’s pretty cold, though”, Roger finally said.

“And we’re out of marshmallows”, Joe pointed out, as he stuck the final marshmallow to his wooden stick.

“I’m getting thirsty after all the marshmallows”, Phil lamented as he looked over his shoulder for the umpteenth time to see if Ned was coming back. He wasn’t.

“Man, this sucks!” Joe declared.

“It’s still four more hours till dawn”, Roger checked the watch of his HUD. “It wouldn’t be so bad, if we could just sleep”.

“As we said, we can’t do that. Leaving the camp fire unattended would be far too hazardous”, Phil reminded him.

“And if only one of us stands watch, they may fall asleep, so it’s got to be all of us”, Joe added.

“I know… It’s just wishful thinking. I wish time would fly faster”.

“Oh hey, I know what we can do to pass time!” Joe suddenly exclaimed.

“Is it pumpkin seeds? Because we’re out of those, too”, Phil interjected.

“No, not pumpkin seeds. We can tell scary stories!”

“Scary stories?” Phil didn’t sound that thrilled.

“Oh, that seems like fun! You know any good ones, Joe?”

“Yeah, I got one. It’s about The Three Monsters of Thunderclap...”

The Three Monsters of Thunderclap

There’s a legend in Thunderclap shared from Rogue to Rogue; it says three monsters are living in Thunderclap, in its dungeons deep. Warnings the elders give never in the dark corners to wander, else death by monster you might meet.

The first one, the oldest, they say is a giant badger zombie. Chained in its dark cell, thedude’s commands it heeds only. Released in secret, every blue moon, to hunt down and find any enemies of thedude. You cannot defeat it, for in this land the title of the strongest it claims; so if it’s after you, running is the only way. Once a free badger, our king the monster cursed; the story warns: lest to a zombie you also are turned.

The second, most savage, is rumoured to be a half-man, half-lizard, half-machine kind of beast.

That’s one half too many.

Hey, get out of my story, Phil! Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the man-lizard-machine beast of doom.

Once aimed thedude’s armies in war to lead, the poor lizard in its training went mad. Now everything in sight it has to kill with fire, a ruthless murderer with a kill count bigger than all of us three. Deep in the mountain now it’s hidden, where its deranged voice no one can reach. But when the king’s angry, his minions have failed; he throws them to the pit, the monster to feed.

The third and final one, thedude’s trusted assassin, a man with no head, wearing a carved pumpkin and carrying a sword. A cold light emits through its hollow eyes, but if you ever gaze upon its glow, know this, you soon will be dead. For the Jack-o’-Lantern don’t breath or sleep, it don’t drink or eat. It never rests, always chases, you’ll never shake it off. Wherever you go, it’ll find you, through land, through sea, through forest and bog. One day you’ll find you’ve been stabbed by its sword.

So, if there’s any message to be learnt from this story, never anger thedude, never fail his will. Don’t rebel against him or your orders neglect. Or even you might find you are hunted by zombie or lizard or a pumpkin-head!

As Joe finished his story and with satisfaction noticed his comrades’ eyes were wide open and Phil was even looking around him for any signs of the Jack-o’-lantern or the zombie badger, should they be after them because they weren’t doing their duty. Joe, thinking he could capitalise on that state of mind, upon concluding his narration jumped up, flailing his arms around and shouting “BOO!” Both his friends jumped up in fear and Phil even screamed. Joe proceeded to laugh at their reactions.

“Very funny”, Roger said sarcastically as soon as he regained his composure. “Did you just make all that up to scare us because we’re not taking part in the Candy Harvest?”

“No, actually the story’s very true. Rather, the rumours really exist. Don’t know if they’re right though”.

“Spooky. So, you’ve got anything to pay Joe back, Phil?”

“Hmm… Scary stories, ha? Weeell… Y- yeah, I do have one, here’s how it goes: The Most Apparing Spooky Story”.

The Most Apparing Spooky Story

It was a night of All Hallow’s Eve Eve –or was it the early morning of All Hallow’s Eve– when three Rogues were seated by the fire in the middle of a forest. Their fourth comrade was conveniently not there, out in the woods gathering more firewood. The fire was just about to go out and leave only embers behind, so the night was getting cold.

That sounds familiar.

Shut up, Roger!

“It’s getting cold”, one of the Rogues, who were definitely not us, noted.

“Well no duh”.

“Ned”, let’s call the fourth comrade by a random name, how about Ned? “will be back with the firewood shortly and we can have a strong fire again” .

“Tell that to my freezing toes”.

“Maybe we should go find Ned and help him. We ain’t gaining anything out of freezing to death here”.

“I guess maybe we shouldn’t have sent Ned alone when we’re all cold”.

“Gah! But finding Ned is work and gathering firewood is more work. I hate work”.

“Me too, man, but what we gonna do?”

“Aaaagh! I hate you”

“Freeze to death, if you like”.

And so the three daring Rogues finally got off their butts and did something. Leaving behind the clearing they were in, they walked into uncharted territory, where there were no paths among the trees, looking for their missing friend. However, it was not long before an unforeseen encounter interrupted them.

Out of the darkness, an enormous beast suddenly rose and towered over them. If the Rogues were found and questioned about it later, they’d probably not be able to agree on what exactly it looked like. One would say it had three lion heads and a whale’s tail. One would point out how it had eyes all over and a gaping jaw-less mouth full of teeth, while the third would think it had blue-dotted bat-like wings, even though that’s really stupid Jim. What all three of them could agree on, though, is the thirty-seven abnormally long tentacles that extended out of its main body, three of which instantly seized them, flexibly wrapping around them several times.

“Who goes there, disturbing my sleep?” the monster spoke with a deep rough voice, like that of the earth.

“Uuuuh, Joe, Roger and Phil”, random names of course.

“Blegh”, the eldritch horror said. “Simply humans. I’ll just eat you then”

“Aaaah, no, please don’t eat us. Please, spare us. We’d very much appreciate it if you let us live!”

“And why would I do that? You’re just some puny humans after all. I see no reason to pity my food”.

“Because we’re both intelligent and it’d kind of be immoral to kill us?”

The creature made a sound that could have possibly been interpreted as laughter, “You? Intelligent? Please! The humans do not at all compare to the true intelligence the Slapalahalapatus possess”.

“The Slapohippo-what?”

“Slapalahalapatus!” the aberration roared angrily. “See! It’s this kind of ignorance that sets barbarians such as you as just part of the food chain. Speech is no proof of intelligence or any common parrot would make the cut. Humans such as you cover the planets and think you’re the kings of the world even though you understand nothing of it, just because you’re everywhere, Microbes are also everywhere, but they are in control of nothing”.

“Hey, don’t blame us for not knowing! If the Slapahupalos are such a big deal, then shouldn’t we have heard more about them? We’ve heard stories and some of us even seen of bigger creatures before, but never of anything like you”.

The ancient beast, so confident in its earlier words, now paused awkwardly. “Aaah… yes… that… Well, I suppose I’m the only one left”.

“Haaaaa? Is that so?” the Rogues vindictively pursued the path laid out before them. “If the Slapepaporhaloohaooors are supposed to be so superior to us, how come they’re all but extinct now while the humans are thriving?”

“It’s because we are superior that it’s come to this. Long ago, long before this land was even inhabited by humans, when the Slapalahalapatus still thrived and ruled over it, we became so wise and advanced that we were able to read the words written in the essence of the universe by the creators of this world. And while we found perfect sense in all we could read and gained great knowledge from it, one fateful day, a strange word was found that no one could understand. Our greatest philosophers debated on it day and night, but we could still not find its meaning. The scandalous phenomenon spread like wildfire and quickly it was known across the whole world. Eventually everyone was drawn in the mystery and there was no Slapalahalapatus that wasn’t concerned by the burning question. A school of thought existed among us that suggested finding the meaning of that word would explain the meaning of life. We started losing sleep over it. We wouldn’t eat or drink. We wouldn’t talk or relate or mate. We wouldn’t work or make art or science. We could only think of the question of the quizzical word. One by one, we started all dying and in the end I was the only one left, drifting through eternity alone”.

“,,,”

“… Pfft, ahahahaha! They died because of a word! AHAHAHA!”

“You think this is funny?!” the Slapalahalapatus yelled. “How about you try and answer this universe’s most difficult question?”

“Well, maybe I can’t answer it, but I won’t die over it if I don’t! Pff fu hu”.

“Why don’t we amend that then? If you find the meaning of the word, I will spare you, I won’t eat you and let you go. I’m even feeling generous today and will give you three chances. However, if you cannot, you shall all meet a gruesome death”.

“So, you want us to find the meaning of that word?”

“Yes”.

“And if we fail, you’ll kill us”.

“Yes”.

“Well that sounds rad, what’s the word then?”

“The word is… appar”.

“Appar?”

“Appar”.

“Just appar?’

“Just appar”.

“Kinda underwhelming after everything”.

“It’s still the world’s most important word, despite what you think of it”.

“Okay, so we get three chances? That should take some thought”

“Does it mean monkey?”

“No, appar does not mean monkey. A hypothesis that it might was suggested by Rahapaparupato on the Forty-seven-thousand-thirty-second year After Appar, but it was definitively disproven six-hundred-twenty-eight years later”.

“Joe, don’t waste our chances like that. We should take careful consideration before we provide any hypotheses. Do you even know how many chances we have to get it right if we spout word randomly?”

“I dunno. Five?”

“That is wrong on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin with”.

“Alright then, if you know so much better, why don’t you try with our second go?”

“Hmm… Let’s see. I took Zotaxian for a semester in Rogue Academy and if I recall correctly they had a word apperia that meant serenity. Could this possibly be connected to appar, that is appar meaning serenity?”

“That couldn’t be. Appar is a true word of the essence of the universe; it has nothing to do with the false languages used by physical beings You only have one chance left”.

“Oh Crux!”
“Good going there Phil, you nailed this”.

“Oh cut me the slack, please. If we’re going to die soon, I don’t want your whining to be the last thing I hear”.

“Hmm. If we even found the right meaning, though, how would you know? You don’t know the right one either, so how can you judge?” the only Rogue who hadn’t ventured a guess so far spoke up.

“I have studied the matter thoroughly. In the impossible scenario that you get it right, then it would click and everything would make sense. I would know”.

“I see”, Roger then whispered to his comrades. “I’ve got this. Follow my lead”.

“So, you’ve studied this so well you’d know instantly if it was right. That’s pretty apparing”.

“What did you just say? Why did you say that word?”

“Oh, you didn’t realise? So, you still haven’t figured it out, even though we know already. How apparing”.

“What? No! But you don’t know. You can’t possibly have figured it out!”

“Dude, don’t appar me like that. You can’t just go in denial”.

“You’re lying, you’re just trying to fool me!”

“Wait… are you telling me you were apparing me earlier on when you said you’d know if I figured it out?’

“Personally, I’m pretty apparred”, Joe interjected, having realised what Roger was doing.

“Of course I can tell. Speak the meaning and I’ll judge”.

“He can’t even appar the meaning himself when he’s supposed to be such an apparing creature. I don’t know what to think”, Phil also caught on.

“Of course… of course I can… appar it. I know the meaning, too. It’s not possible you would have realised it before I did. I can use the word, too. It’s… it’s very apparing to find out what this word means. Oh my Appar. I just used the word in a sentence. More than once… This means… This means…”

“What does it mean?”

“I finally understand. Everything is clear now. I have discovered the meaning of appar. What has eluded me and my kind for so long, I now can grasp and I can say: it’s the most apparing meaning. I am so appared to finally find out. I got through the loneliness and madness long ago and came to peace with myself, but my only regret was that I couldn’t ever know what appar meant. And now that I know, I can finally rest in appar. I am grateful, three friends. For although you are humans, this apparment would not have been possible without you. You helped me see the appar and as such I will let you live. Farewell, three humans and may we appar again”.

With its final words said the Slapalahalapatus was covered in a bright white light that filled all of their vision. Then as suddenly as it had appeared, the light vanished, the Slapalahalapatus going with it, not without leaving its mark, though, of all the surrounding trees burning.

“Well, that actually worked… Neat”.

“Do you actually know what appar meant?”

“No idea”.

“Hey, we’ve got a camp fire now. Appar!”

“The end!” Phil finished with a satisfied look on his face.

“Dude, this isn’t a scary story! It’s called what we were doing two hours ago”, Joe objected.

“I don’t know, it was pretty scary when it happened”.

“Well yeah, but not now after it’s over. And definitely not as a story repeated so quickly after”.

“It’s pretty weird though. If there was something so dangerous in these woods, one would expect command would have picked up on it and sent someone investigate. It appars me really”, Roger contemplated.

“Well, never mind that. How about a scary story of yours? You do have one, right? After asking for our own?”

“Naturally, my dear friend Joe. And my story is called The Most Haunted House of the Century”.

The Most Haunted House of the Century

It was a night of Halloween Eve –or I guess you might call it early Halloween– when three Rogues were seated by the fire in the middle of a forest. Their fourth comrade was conveniently not there, out in the woods searching for water. They were out of food and water and as the night advanced, their thirst grew more and more.

I’m getting a feeling of deja vu.

Just listen to the story and you’ll see.

The three soldiers were getting desperate to drink something and they wondered if it was right to have sent their other comrade to find water alone, even though they’d just made him gather firewood only to make a new camp fire by themselves. But they all hated work, so worth it. Especially seeing as Ned came back then and for once wasn’t useless.

“Hey guys, you won’t believe what I found!” the Rogue spoke excitedly as he appeared from the trees.

“Is it water?”

“No, it’s even better!”

Oops, spoke too soon.

“If it’s not water, I’m not interested”, Joe looked angry.

“But guys, you must see this. There’s a house in the middle of the forest!”

“Is a house built in a forest so weird?” Phil asked.

“If it was built in it, no. But this one seems to have crashed a few trees under it, like it appeared on top of them out of nowhere”.

“That’s… apparing”.

“Apparing?”

“Sounds worth checking out. Since we’re here anyway, we probably should do as much as to report this”.

“Isn’t this anyone else’s job?” Joe complained.

“No actually this is exactly what we signed up for”.

“I don’t remember that”, Roger responded. “But a magical house sounds fun, let’s do this”.

Roger said that, however, not knowing about the old legend of the haunted wandering house. The story goes that there once was a scary strong wizard that one did not want to see cross. When he got mad, he would summon storms or put forests on fire, or worst of all turn you into a wooden squirrel. Living in his magical house that wandered the land on its own,he terrorised it for many years, but eventually even he was slain by a chivalrous hero. However, his house that leaped from place to place still waited for him to return, not knowing that he never would. Embodying the spirit of waiting, it attracted the ghosts of many dead housewives who in their life had to deal with their husbands always away from home. Their merging with the dark and mysterious magics cast into the house from the wizard itself, the haunted wandering house was born: always appearing in dark places across the land, presenting itself to the unassuming, it opens its doors and accepts the weary passersby into its deceptively warm interior. But when it tests its guests and finds them not to be the one it’s looking for, it always with no exception kills them and no one hears of them again. It’s said that most of all it likes to appear before sailors, travellers and adventurers to satisfy the vengeful spirits haunting it.

That very house is what the four Rogues came upon that night, led by Ned. As described, it lay on top of a couple of trees, crashed by its weight. Coloured black and grey, it was surrounded by an eerie green aura. The Rogues gazed at it in awe and fear, unsure how to proceed.

“So, what do we do now?”

“I guess we go in?”

“Do we have to?”

“We can’t just come all the way here and not check inside”.

“Fiiine”.

And so the four Rogues entered… And they never came out again. They were never seen again. And no one knows what happened to them.

“...”

“Is that it?”

“You want more?”

“No, it’s just it’s kind of stupid”.

“What, you didn’t like it?”

“Don’t get me wrong, it definitely had that spooky potential, but it lacked in execution. The ending especially needed more work”.

“Everyone’s a critic, these days. Let’s see if you still have that attitude if you meet the wandering house”.

“As if that kind of thing exists”.

“Hey guys, I’m back!”

In the thick of their conversation as they were, the three Rogues hadn’t noticed Ned approaching them. In their scary-story-affected mood, everyone jumped up from the surprise appearance.

“Crux, Ned, you scared the brick out of me! Don’t creep on us like that!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”.

“Well, never mind that, where’s the water?” Joe eyed his friend thirstily.

“I didn’t find any, but I’ve got the next best thing”.

“Waiiit… What is it?” Phil asked.

“It’s a house! Imagine that, a house in a forest!”
“A house?” Phil’s voice rose a few octaves, but he wasn’t the only one who looked shocked.

“Show us”, Roger instructed.

“Wow, I didn’t expect you guys to be so interested. I thought you’d say mean things again”.

“Just take us there”, Joe’s voice was a little shaky.

As asked, Ned led them to his findings. And truly they found a house resting upon some fallen trees. It was made of wood and stone and its walls were crooked. There was a chimney on the roof, but no smoke came out of it, only the eerie mist that surrounded the entire building. The Rogues stared at in fear for a while, wondering if it really was what they thought it was. Then, the final drop came when all of a sudden, the house’s door opened all on its own. This was all the three friends needed and they all together started running away, screaming in fear lest the house eat them. For everybody knows that when encountered with the mysteries of the other side, being as loud as you can is sure to keep you safe.

The three Rogues ran all the way out of the forest and back to base, where they were later punished for bailing with double the work for the Hallowe’en Candy Harvest. Only Ned was left behind wondering what had scared his friends so much. He thought he should follow behind them, so they wouldn’t get separated, but as he started walking away, he only got a glimpse of it with the edge of his eye and never was able to confirm it: a blonde woman appeared out of the trees and moving swiftly entered the house, the door closing behind her. And Ned never saw her again. . .

The Tale of Boo

Gather round children, I've got a story for you
Four soldiers once walking in the forest of Boo
In there they were greeted by scary old trees
Under which no one would sit to K-I-S-S kiss
Deeper and deeper they ventured into the woods
And the nasty aura always worsened their moods

The moon rose at night
The dark grew in might

In the woods lived a lone ghost named Steve
He laughed for the day was All Hallow's Eve
The spirits had risen and doomed their fate
For the foolish soldiers had taken the bait
Receiving a signal of colours black and red
Too bad their comrade was already dead

As time went on, the four men started to chat
Scared they were not, of the occasional bat
Ted said he wanted a coffee with cream
That's when they all heard an unearthly scream
Frightened they panicked, they run their hearts a-beating
As they realised their time on earth was fleeting

In midst of the fright
The clock struck midnight

And out of nowhere they were stopped by a sudden house
Scared witless they entered like in the trap does the mouse
Ancient it looked, and in riches abundant
Everything went wrong when Ted touched a pendant
From all around there was a sound of creaking
And doors everywhere went rampant, mad as the king

The soldiers were then trapped with locked all the doors
Right before the appearance of a spectral fiery horse
It charged against Ted, now he's down for the count
Stomped as he was by the nightmarish mount
Then walked in a man by hand holding his head
Looking at the horrified group that's what he said

"Welcome travellers, how do you do?
Brave you are to enter in the forest named Boo
Please join me and together let's dine
I'm sure to your liking you'll find my wine
But know this, just like your friend
By morning, there's no escape, you all will be dead"

The three remaining run completely terrified
They hoped their fate they somehow defied
John saw a window and thought he found a way
When he jumped out he saw of hope a ray
But when he landed he faced the headless rider
A quick swing and the blood spilled like cider

Off with his head
Now John's all red

Bill and Robin the mansion also fled
Using a catapult made out of a bed
When Bill saw little lights he quickly followed
And the Will-O-Wisps gladly showed him the road
But that decision's moment he would come to rue
When the screen would declare: he was eaten by a grue

Robin the forest wandered for a while
The dangers he avoided bearing a smile
But then appeared Steve and called "Do not be alarmed
I come here in peace, I am not armed
Let me help you for with you I've got no beef"
Yet when Robin lowered his guard, Steve pushed him off a cliff

Down in void he fell
As dawn's rang the bell

Please don't cry children, it was well-deserved
For the soldiers were Rogues and thedude they all served
Just then in the first morning light dose
The spirits of All Hallow's Day rose
With a new addition among them: the soldiers felt blue
As the story ended with four more residents of the forest of Boo