To Nab a Nephew

To Nab a Nephew

aka: Mortimer's Trip

File:Morty Contemplates.jpg

~Prolouge~

An old man sat by a window overlooking Nexus City. It was a decent view, but the old man wasn't looking at the city. He was looking above it. At the Stars. 

Out there, somewhere, was a planet by the name of Militeregnum. A world of wizards, magic, kings and queens, and all things lordly and medieval and whatnot. Or at least, it had been, up until a few months ago, it seemed.

The old man glanced down at the datapad in his hand. Yes. Apparently, the diabolical madman behind the heinous Faction Wars, thedude, had escaped custody and landed on the planet, quickly taking it over with advanced technology, and his evil minions. Foremost among them, a bizarre creature called 'Barney'.

He scrolled through the rest of the Nexus Force report. The planet was now being blockaded by the Force, since they couldn't mount a full scale assault just yet on thedude. Apparently, it hadn't taken long for him to become entrenched, and surveillance suggested that the criminal mastermind was now on a quest to conquer the whole planet.

The man set the datapad down on the dresser with a sigh, and picked up a framed photo depicting his old geezer self in a white labcoat, and a young boy in a green polo.

"Don't worry, Perry, M'boy. Your Uncle is coming."

~Chapter 1~

Mortimer scratched off another number off the list and tapped the next one. The number beamed over from his tablet to his smartphone and began dialing as he shuffled through his sock drawer for actual socks.

Finding a few pairs amid the various knicknackeries, he folded them up tightly and set them inside his rolling suitcase. As he went back for boxers, the phone reached a voicemail.  

"Hello, you've reached Don," said a tired middle-aged male voice. "Leave a name, phone number, and if this is about a trip, your destination or destinations, and I'll get back to you when I can. Bye...."

Just as the phone gave the beep, Mortimer said, "Tesla, Hang up." The phone did. 

Tossing a healthy amount of underwear into the suitcase, he tapped the next number, and dove into his closet for some appropriate travelling clothes.

"Let's see. I'll need something comfortable. However, once I arrive, I may need to be presentable to a certain degree. Especially if I want the help of the local authorities in finding Perry on a planet with no working scientific advancement. The poor souls."  Mortimer paused. "How does that even work?"

Before he could lose himself thinking about that, his phone stopped ringing. 

"He-hello?"

Mortimer jumped, banging his head on the bar on which his clothing hung.

"Fiddlesticks!"

"Hello?"

"Hi! Hullo! Yes! My name is Nathaniel D. Mortimer, and I would like a ride. Ow, that really smarts." Mortimer rubbed his head as he shuffled over to the phone on his bed and picked it up.

The voice on the other end, an female voice, sounded somewhat groggy. "Oh." She muttered something incomprehensible. "Alright. When and where, Sir?"

"Well, you're not going to like either of those, so let me start off that I'm going to reimburse you very well. 10,000 U-coins.

There was silence on the other end. Mortimer kept his sighing internal and answered the first question.

"As soon as possible, I'd like to go to the Militiregnum System."

The line remained quiet, and then all sound was cut. He pulled the phone away from his ear. No, he had not been hung up on. Suddenly, the background static reappeared. "Please hold, sir." The line went quiet.

'I've been put on mute,' Mortimer realized.  He set the phone down and continued to pack his suitcase.  

A minute or two later, the phone crackled again. "Mr. Mortimer, sir?"

"Yes, I'm here!" Mortimer said, nearly finished with his suitcase, and packing a smaller duffle-bag with other items he thought he could use for his trip.

A deep breath. "I can take you to the Militiregnum system, but I won't be challenging any blockades. If we run into resistance, no amount of money will make me risk my life or yours, ok?"

"Smart girl!" Mortimer yelled before thinking. "Um. I mean, yes, that makes perfect sense, my dear."

"Good. Meet me in Nexus Tower, tomorrow morning, 0800 hours. Hanger level 93d. Ask for Fiona, that's me."

"Wonderful! Thank you, Fiona! I'll be there!"

"See you there, Sir." She hung up.

Grinning, Mortimer said, "48th time's the charm!"  

He checked his suitcase and duffle-bag. What else would he need? He'd already gotten the essentials: Clothes, hygiene, medications. Self defense.

"No. Wait. My taser might not work on the planet," Mortimer realized.  "What to do... What to do..."

'Well, ' he thought. 'I could still use it for there and back.' He packed his tablet and slipped his phone in his pocket. Considering the medieval setting, Mortimer wondered what sort of backup he could use... 

He decided to think about it, as he finished putting everything else in order. The newspaper was cancelled, his neighbor would house-visit for the mail and his cat Giblett, and the basement would be locked up and everything in there would be stable and not explode. 

Walking in on Peragrine's room to make sure everything was in order, he saw an old slingshot on his Nephew's dresser.

"Bingo!" Mortimer knew what barbaric form of self defense he would use.  A souped-up Slingshot. Already, his mind began drafting an invention that quickly became something between a crossbow and a slingshot. He rushed downstairs to see if he could gather the materials, since there wasn't enough time to make it before tomorrow.

~Chapter 2~

More Coming SOONER-ISH™